A Carolina Hurricanes blog with occasional news about the rest of the NHL.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

pay no attention to the little man behind the curtain. or the blonde girl.

I know I just said I wouldn't be doing this, but I feel obliged to offer this bit of advice to Oilers fans.

Please, please, for the love of Lord Stanley, ignore Raleigh News and Observer columnist Ned Barnett.

Every newspaper has one or two writers that are, to be kind, sub-par. Usually, these writers are relegated to the ranks of "local interest" columns about old ladies and kittens, or police blotter stuff. The kind of writers who would have a very difficult time writing their way out of a wet paper bag.

Every newspaper in every city has at least one of these dreck spewing clowns on their sportswriting staff. Ours is Ned Barnett. Apparently, he got his J-school degree by sending in 1000 proofs of purchase from Weetabix box tops. For a professional journalist, his writing is very bad. From a stylistic standpoint, it's a nightmare. Every article he writes is full of one-sentence paragraphs and bizarre analogies. He makes it worse because his sports knowledge is less impressive than his journalistic skills. His hockey knowledge is nonexistent.

I think the only reason he's kept around is so the rest of the fellas can have somebody to pick on, and because the editors have some elaborate drinking game they play using his submissions. If you happen to stumble upon one of Barnett's articles, or a quotation by him, please know that he's widely regarded as a tool around here. He might think he represents us, but we don't claim him.

Instead, I might recommend reading the work of Luke Decock, who is a good writer, a "tell it like it is" guy, and an Ivy League graduate.

Also, the Caniac Nation apologizes in advance to all Edmonton fans, and to all Canadians. Your beautiful anthem will be horribly disrespected by our "singer", Holly Wilver. Please understand that we don't like her, either. I'm hoping that the Canes have hired a professional singer to do the anthems since we'll be on the big stage. If not, please accept our sincerest apologies.

7 comments:

mike w said...

Agreed.

As long as you ignore most of our Edmonton Sun columnists.

Bill Purdy said...

I'm not sure O Canada will be disrespected (in part because I think 'disrespect' is a noun, not a verb -- regardless of popular, i.e. within the last 15 years, vernacular) by Holly Wilver. After all, she seems sincere.

Problem is, Holly Wilver sings like Ned Barnett writes. And, in particular, she sings O Canada like Ned Barnett writes Wayne Gretzky's unauthorized biography. I think you're confusing a lack of respect for a deficit of talent.

DrFrankLives said...

David,

I know you are a huge hockey fan, so I am surprised that you would willingly advocate messing with the mojo. Holly has been singing since the beginning of this amazing year. Let her butcher the anthems, man - I don't really care if the fight was "perohlis" - it doesn't matter to me if Canada is kept "Gloreeuss and furry" - there are more important issues at stake!

Plus, um... have you looked at her?

sacamano said...

I'm sure Mike W meant to say "as long as you ignore the Edmonton Sun". Period.

Let the games begin!

Chris said...

Holly isn't that bad... and she's been very kind to my daughter, so that counts for points in my book. She has butchered Oh Canada in the past, but she has made some strives towards that. Practice makes perfect, after all.

Desdemona said...

You know what was cool? I could hear people in the crowd singing Oh Canada. I'm sure as they were leaving they were just saying "Ohhhhh, Canada."

Sasha said...

as a Canadian AND a Hurricanes fan....I definitely cringed when she started to sing the anthem....maybe someone should have SOUNDED OUT the words to her...sheesh..

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