things we won't be missing in round two

Now that we are down to eight teams, some time-honored traditions and some new-fangled ones have been eliminated from Stanley Cup competition.

I really wanted to come up with at least one thing about each eliminated team that I will not be missing in the second round. However, I couldn't really come up with anything for some teams.

As an example, the only things I can say about Dallas have to do with the 1999 team rather than the 2006 team. Neither Brett "illegal skate in the crease" Hull nor Ed "I will give you one BILLION dollars if you don't throw me in jail" Belfour play for them anymore. I don't have anything on them.

Anyway, the best I could come up with is three. Three things that I'm glad are gone from the Stanley Cup playoffs.


TOP THREE THINGS WE WON'T BE MISSING IN THE SECOND ROUND OF THE STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS

• #3 --- French (Montréal Canadiens). We did well in high school French, but got a D in college French. We don't like their language. The world is a much better place without it. French people speak French because they have to. We will grudgingly let them slide on this. Quebeccers speak it by choice. This makes no sense to us.
  
  
• #2 --- Octopi. (Detroit Red Wings) The bizarre tradition of heaving an octopus on the ice in Detroit began at some point in the 1950s, when only 4 teams were in the Stanley Cup playoffs. You needed to win a total of eight games (two best of seven series) to win the Cup. Each tentacle of the octopus symbolizes a win. Initially, fans threw octopi on the ice after the Wings had won the Cup. Since then, fans in Detroit have launched octopi onto the ice before, during and after games, even during the regular season. I still don't know how a person carries an actual octopus into the arena. Maybe I don't want to know.
  
  
• #1 --- "Fang Fingers" (Nashville Predators) I've never been to a home game in Nashville, or even watched a Preds home game on TV. According to some websites that haven't been updated since James K. Polk was in the White House (Tar Heel!!!!), the Predators have what has to be the stupidest tradition in all of organized sports. Allegedly, every time the Preds go on a power play, fans in the arena claw at the air with their index and middle fingers while the theme to "Psycho" is played over the PA. Someone please tell me that they don't actually do this.

While we say "good riddance" to the above things, there are actually some things that we will miss about some of the eliminated teams. Most notably, we will miss the Calgary Flames and their "C of Red". They get everybody, EVERYbody, to wear red to home playoff games, creating a completely red environment. It has to be intimidating as all get out. It sure looks great on TV. Tip of the hat obviously goes to the Winnipeg Jets (RIP) and the "Winnipeg Whiteout", which was the inspiration for Calgary's "C of Red". The Flyers tried their own "Orange Crush", but it was more of a one time thing than an ongoing tradition.

If I've missed anything, feel free to let me know.

Also, in this post (and in general), when I say "we", I mean "we" in the editorial sense, in the royal sense of the word. It's really just me.