A Carolina Hurricanes blog with occasional news about the rest of the NHL.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

a creepy dream

Last night I had the strangest dream.

It didn't involve going away to China in a little row boat to find you and you saying you had to get your laundry clean.

No. It was much stranger than that.

I was abducted by strange men who took me to some unknown place and to a seven story building with no windows. All along, they assured me that I wasn't going to be hurt, and I was going to be taken for an interview. What, like a job interview? No. A police interview? No. An interview for a newspaper story? No. They wouldn't give me any other details.

Upon entering the building through a heavy steel door, there was a cargo elevator. There were a few other guys waiting for the elevator. We all got in, and I was discharged on the fourth floor. The first thing I saw on the fourth floor was a weight room. There were maybe six guys working out. Two of whom I recognized as Markus Naslund and Anson Carter. (side note -- in real life, I probably wouldn't recognize Naslund)

I was then taken to a back room, where to make a long story short, I was immersed in a very aggressive brainwashing regimen by Vancouver Canucks operatives. I'm not talking about the high-tech surgical implant of computer chips in the brain. I'm talking about old school Manchurian Candidate subversive techniques. The methodical corrosion of the mind and allegiances through hypnosis and repeated mantras and disruption of sleep patterns and the watching of videos and listening to propagandist Nucks speeches. Oh yes. I was there for several days. I didn't realize what was going on at first because it seemed innocuous enough, but after a while, I realized -- THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS ARE TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME!!! I didn't know what their ultimate purpose was, but they were brainwashing me and several other people.

I don't know how it all panned out, because I woke up.

10 comments:

James Q. Stansfield said...

I heard there is a room that they use for that sort of thing deep in the bowels of the RBC Center... [grin]

Jeff J said...

That's no dream. That's a night terror.

Bill Purdy said...

Is there something distinctive about Anson Carter that would make him easier to recognize than Markus Nasland?

The Acid Queen said...

Oh, I think the dreads might be a big tip-off.

Jes GÅ‘lbez said...

You are a closet Canucks fan. Admit it!

Bill Purdy said...

Doesn't Carter wear a big "Anson" medalion around his neck, too?

Brushback (former Rangers fan) said...

The Canucks are the greatest sports team ever. They are not the type of people who would ever try to brainwash anyone. I would know, because I'm the biggest Canucks fan in the entire world.

Canucks rule!!!!

Bill Purdy said...

Somehow, brushback (former rangers fan)'s comment made me laugh more than the original post...

Josh Crockett said...

David, are you sure there weren't some white-suited men mumbling in Slovak around a corner? Methinks the whole Canucks vibe might just have been an elaborate cover for something more sinister entirely...

d-lee said...

Damn! Golbez! I shoulda known.

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