I think I need to check myself into a clinic or something. There's something seriously wrong with me. I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'm a Canucks fan in Canes fan clothing.
Remember in March when I had a dream about being kidnapped and brainwashed by 'Nucks operatives? Yeah. It was all crazy Manchurian Candidate style. Not the Jonathan Demme vehicle starring Liev Schrieber and Denzel Washington. That was garbage. I mean the John Frankenheimer film with Laurence Harvey and Frank Sinatra. I was scared, and a bunch of people joked that I was secretly a Canucks fan. Maybe they're right.
On Sunday night, after attending the holiday parties of both of my places of work (read: getting piss babbling drunk), I came home and passed out on my couch sitting upright with my suit still on. I didn't wake up until I was already an hour late for work Monday morning, and I didn't sober up until about 4 pm. During the few hours of drunken sleep, I had the following dream.
(Cue dream sequence harp music)
Keith Primeau was cleared by doctors and decided to come out of retirement. He was picked up by the Canucks. As soon as the news broke, I was really excited. (In real life, I HATE Keith Primeau with burning passion). I wanted to see him play, and since the Nucks don't visit Carolina until 2007-08, I traveled to Nashville to see Primeau and the Nucks take on the Preds.
The Preds were having their way early. JP Dumont had two goals to lead the way for the Preds to take a 3-1 lead in the first. As soon as the second period started, Marek Zidlicky checked Primeau hard into the boards along the players' bench area. Primeau picked himself up and for some reason went after Trevor Linden for retribution. His own teammate! Linden was, of course, stunned, as was every person in the building. Primeau kept swinging at him and eventually, Linden had to retaliate in kind. The two teammates traded punches for several seconds as everyone watched in confused silence. For some reason, even though I was at the game, I was also watching it on television. The play-by-play guy, not knowing what else to say, said "Well... Sometimes this happens." After the "fight" ended, there were several moments of confusion at the scorers' table, and ultimately, Primeau was ejected and Linden forced to sit five minutes in the box.
Wow. I have no idea. I keep having these bizarre whacked out dreams about the Nucks. Either I am a closet Nucks fan, or I really was brainwashed. And Primeau? Seriously? I hate that dude so much.
Of course I consumed enough alcohol that night to kill a small dog. Maybe that has something to do with it. For what it's worth, I have never in my life felt as crappy as I did Monday. All day Monday. Let that be a lesson. There's no such thing as free beer. Even when there's no out-of-pocket expense, that 9% ABV stuff that I was drinking will bite you in the ass one way or another.
5 years ago