Addendum to sweater rules

I didn't initially mention this because it had been addressed by Mr. Gölbez, but now I need to mention this because I'm going to modify my rules.

It is ALWAYS okay to wear a national team sweater to a game at any level. I'm not crazy about the current team USA sweater, but if you can find this one, the replica of those worn at the 1932 Olympic Games in Lake Placid, you'd be super cool. Heck, even the 1980 replica is cool. Despite the grumblings of certain people, the wearing of this team USA sweater would make a woman about 301% hotter.

Although I would frown upon the wearing of a sweater of an NHL team not playing in the arena that night, and I would have serious reservations about wearing the sweater of a minor league team to an NHL contest, there are other "teams not playing that night" that are allowed.

• A collegiate sweater is typically okay. Better if:
  
  • it's an NCAA (rather than club) team
    
  • you went to school there, or
    
  • someone on the ice that night played there
    
  
  
• As mentioned, national team sweaters are always okay. I even allow for the bending of other rules with national team sweaters. More on that later.

This is important, and it should go without mentioning, but here goes:

Only wear officially licensed merchandise, please. If you give people an inch, they'll take a mile, and they'll end up wearing an ugly unlicensed piece of crap like this

or worse, they'll end up wearing what has to be the worst sweater EVER, from some bush-league inline hockey team.

Okay, here's where it gets tricky:
It's okay to wear an NHL sweater to a minor league game if one of the teams on the ice is affiliated with that team OR the NHL team is nearby. For example, if you're going to a home game of the Lowell Lock Monsters versus the Albany River Rats, it would be geographically appropriate to wear a Boston Bruins sweater and because of NHL affiliation, it would be appropriate to wear Hurricanes, Avalanche (Lowell is affiliated with both) or Devils (River Rats parent club) sweaters.

Here's where I allow bending of the rules. If you're a little old lady, AND you're wearing a Czech national team sweater, it's okay for you to have the number 1 and the name "GRANDMA". I have no problem with that. I actually saw this last night.

I don't care how old you are, or what your gender is, you NEVER, EVER go for the full tuck. The half-tuck is only marginally acceptable, and that's provided that your name is Rod Brind'Amour, Pavol Demitra, Jaro Jagr, or Wayne Gretzky. See Jes Gölbez's rant for further details.